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| okay, so i decided to stop weighing myself everyday. it just stresses me out. soo i'm going weigh myself this thursday, which is one week before i leave for vacation. hopefully i've dropped a couple pounds. ehh, but considering this disasterous weekend..probably not. gahhhh, which is why i need to work my ASS off over the next few days. today's my little sister's birthday. she's seven. haha, we're ten years apart. well, so we went out and bought this beautiful cake last night..meaning that my mom is going to make me EAT IT. urrghh. no dinner for me tonight. oh by the way, my mom knows i'm vegetarian. THANK GOD. haha, she kind of caught on after a while. whenever we'd go out to eat i'd always order some vegetarian dish. finally she just said, "are you a vegetarian?" and i was like "yea, well technically i'm pescetarian because i eat fish." she didn't really have a problem with it at all, suprisingly. intake plan b[x]: oatmeal w/ banana // 175 calories; l[x]: lean cuisine // 290 calories; 1/2 cup avocado // 118 calories; 1 apple // 100 calories; s[x]: 1.5 chocolate chip cookies (GAHH) // 288 calories; 1 chocolate bar (what's wrong with me?!) // 230 calories; d[ ]: little sister's b-day cake // ??? outtake plan [ ]: 400 pilates before EVERY meal // 150 calories; [x]: 85 minute walk // 300 calories; [ ]: 35 minute run // 300 calories; [ ]: 20 minute weight lifting // 65 calories; haha, this is a picture from graduation a couple weeks ago with my one best guy friends, nico. haha, he's such a loser, but i love him to death. my bangs are kinda messed up but whatever. 
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| 119 eh, whatever. okay. so i like i said in my last update, i need to lose weight the healthy way. i have to eat somewhat normally..and only when i'm actually hungry. mmkay, i can do this. 
intake plan: b[x]: slept through. l[x]: oatmeal w/ bananas // 185 calories; s[ ]: apple // 85 calories; pasta // 300 calories; d[ ]: spinache salad // (ehh, i'll calculate the number of calories later..haha.) outtake plan: [ ]: 800 pilates // ?? [ ]: 40 minute walk OR 25 minute run // 200 calories; [ ]: 20 minute weight lifting OR 20 minute push ups // 65 calories; 
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| 118.5 ahh! i'm SOOO INCREDIBLY SORRY that i haven't updated in such a long time. i was kind of in an angsty mood after saturday's fiasco and i decided to take a little break. i also caught some weird virus a couple days ago and was pretty much knocked out and bedridden. anyways, at least i didn't gain since saturday. i hadn't weighed myself since then until this morning and i was sooo relieved. for the last few days i haven't been very loyal to my diet plan. well, it's not that i haven't been loyal, it's just that i've been trying to eat more. i've been doing a lot of weight loss research and apparently super low-calorie diets cause your body to adjust to the number of calories you're consuming, thus needing to rely on less and less energy. so basically, your body will get used to the lack of food and you'll stop losing weight after a matter of time. you'll have to eat less and less in order to keep up your weight loss. haha, i'm sure everyone knew this already, but it was totally news to me. so yea, i'm trying to get my metabolism used to eating a little more food, which also keeps me from binging and all that. sooo yea. i'm pretty sure that entire paragraph up there didn't make any sense at all. i was just..rambling. hahaha. mmkay, well..since i'm currently at 118.5 (!!!), my goal is to get down to 114 in exactly two weeks. i really, really hope i can do this. it's only 4.5 pounds so it shouldn't be too hard, right? arrgh. i just need to eat HEALTHY and reduce my portions and exercise (x1000). wish me luck, everyone! and thank you so much for all the support you've given me. i love you all <3 
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| 122.5 ugh. i'm not suprised at all. yesterday was a fucking disaster. today was hell, too. not eating-wise, though. i took the ACTs, which were fairly easy aside from the science part. phil was there. god, i was so nervous when i first saw him, hahaha. i'm such a loser. we talked and whatnot and he was really nice, as usual, but then after the test when we were talking he totally blew me off and ignored me when a couple other guys came over. asshole. anyways, i can't believe i gained two pounds overnight. ugh, that's what i get for eating. i totally binged yesterday. it was absolutely horrible. i'm so angry and frustrated right now. i gained weight, phil doesn't give a shit about me..fuck, like, what else could possibly happen? jesus h. christ. I HATE FOOD. FOOD IS FUCKING DISGUSTING. FOOD MAKES YOU FAT. I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF BEING A FATASS. STOP EATING. [edit// 7:23 pm] urgh. sorry about the rant. i just had to get that out there. terrible day. god, what an ass. 
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| 120.5 urgh! i knew those two pounds were too good to be true! god, it's not even because of anything i did either. yea, i pigged out a little, but it was all healthy food! and i worked off twice as many calories as i usually do last night. oh well :( 
intake plan okay, so i decided that i'm going to eat a somewhat big breakfast from now on..and eat subsequently smaller and smaller meals throughout the day. that way, it'll be easier to burn off most of my calories simply by doing my daily activities. then later in the evening i'll do my nightly workout. b[ ]: 1 slice of whole grain bread // 150 calories; 1/4 tbsp of olive oil // 35 calories; 1/2 banana // 50 calories; 1 slice of fat free cheese // 25 calories; 5 cucumber slices // 0 calories; 6 cherry tomatoes // 15 calories; l[ ]: 1 quesadilla w/ veggies // 275 calories; s[ ]: oatmeal w/ banana, blueberries, and strawberries // 140 calories; d[ ]: miso soup // 25 calories; outtake plan [ ] 30 minute run // 300 calories; [ ] 800 pilates // 85 calories; [ ] 20 minute weight lifting // 65 calories; 
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